that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
