i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
