Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
