Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize