3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What drink are we having for lunch?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Of course I have a pirate flag
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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