Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
