your thong is hanging out like whoa
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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