Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize