If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
