so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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