So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
