I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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