bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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