I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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