I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
