He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
