I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
