why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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