Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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