there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It all started with a game of naked twister.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
