So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize