So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
