Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
