yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Oh god it's open bar.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
