Can i not drive my cunt home
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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