I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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