My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize