Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he thought i was a dude.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
