Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
