it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
