dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize