how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
