ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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