You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
