the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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