All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize