i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
