when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
