Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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