wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
