I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
it's like iHOP with fire
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
