They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
