How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hippo gnu deer
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Alive.
So much puke
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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