chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
