You really coming over, don't trick.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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