I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
