I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
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This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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