Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
