Already got asked if we're dating
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
