508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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