remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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