i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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