It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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