Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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