i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
