so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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