I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
