don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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