weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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