Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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