No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
