Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
