I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
